When Shame Speaks Your Name

There have been moments that all I seem to be able to remember are the names of the past. Names that whisper over me to remind me of who I was. Stupid. UNLOVABLE. Clumsy. ABANDONED. Ugly. UNWANTED. Invisible. UNWORTHY. Dirty. SHAMEFUL. Hateful. ALONE. Sinner. These are the names, the emotions that have plagued my life, my mind, and my heart. These are the names I would hear repeated over and over in my mind. Names that expressed who I was. Who I thought I was. Who I was told I was. And sometimes names I still believe describe who I am. Names the enemy loves to taunt me with. I have lived so often in bondage to shamed-filled thinking. I have filtered everything through shame. BUT, I have learned that I can choose to think differently. I can choose to remember that Jesus came to set me free. He came to give me a new name. He gave me a new identity. A new life. And oh what a marvelous name it is! A beautiful name. He calls me BELOVED. I am no longer condemned. I no longer live in shame. Because of Jesus I am very much LOVED. I am WORTHY. He finds me BEAUTIFUL. I am FORGIVEN. I have not been abandoned for He is ALWAYS with me. I’ve been made CLEAN. I am RIGHTEOUS. He SEES me. Watches over me. He CARES about every part of my life. Because of who He is and because He lives in me I am a new creation. The person who was is no more. She dies daily as Jesus continues to renew my mind with His holy, perfect Spirit within me. I wish I didn’t have to be reminded of who I am. I wish I could just rest in the truth of who I am in Christ. But I know this is my weakness and my enemy knows this too. Sometimes I will need a daily reminder. I forget so easily, but He is faithful to send reminders. This is what I know, He continues to work in me in this area. One day I know I will really, really get it. I will “get it” into the depths of my heart and soul. Then shame will no longer have such power over me. For even today I am aware that my enemy has less power over me in this area than before. I am thankful that Jesus continues His work in me, He never tires of reminding me of who I am. He never tires of the sanctification process in this area of my life. I can run to Him at any time and He gently whispers in my heart the names He has given me. My dear friend if you also find yourself mired in shame then let me speak these truths over you. Say them out loud. Choose to believe the truth as these words filter down into the depths of your heart. Then choose to walk in them today. I know you may not FEEL these truths at first, but keep trusting, keep believing them. Keep speaking them to yourself when the enemy tries to remind you of who you were. Memorize them. Ask God to remind you. I promise He will use these truths in your life to change your thinking. He changed my thought patterns, He will do it for you. Sure I still struggle some days but I don’t stay there. I am confident in the truth that these verses speak of who I am today! And on those days that it is painfully hard to believe these truths I just choose to walk in them anyway as if they are true. Because they are!! God says, “My precious daughter you are my beloved.”
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved… Col 3:12
As He says also in Hosea, "I WILL CALL THOSE WHO WERE NOT MY PEOPLE, 'MY PEOPLE,' AND HER WHO WAS NOT BELOVED, 'BELOVED … Rom 9:25 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God ! How vast is the sum of them! Ps 139:17 "The LORD has today declared you to be His people, a treasured possession, as He promised you, and that you should keep all His commandments; Duet 26:18 "My delight is in her... For the LORD delights in you" Is 62: Oh, dear friend, He does delight in you!! Now go and walk in the knowledge of whose you are and how much He loves you, whether you feel it or not!