Believing the Best of One Another

A number of years ago a dear friend said something that hurt me.  When I ask her about it I realized that I had misinterpted what she said. Once we talked it out she said something to me that has stuck with me in the years since. She said, “why don’t we just believe the best about one another? Assume that we have one another’s best interest at heart.” It made sense after all we love each other, want what is best for each other, and we had almost a lifetime of friendship behind us.Thinking that way has caused a lot less hurt feelings. It has made me stop and evaluate things that have been done or said to me. I mean why is it that I always am inclined toward believing the negative? Surely I am not the only one! It is so important to our relationships though to believe motives and intentions toward us are good. There would be a whole lot less hurt feelings.

Recently I saw something on social media that reminded me of this very thing. Someone had shared about something that they had done and how God had blessed them for it (no one from Cornerstone Church). It was praiseworthy. A testimony to what God had done in their life. But a few commenters took it as bragging and what followed just got ugly. There were all kinds of hurt feelings. Y'all these people were Christians. They were people who are called to love one another, build one another up and to preach the gospel. Sadly they failed in that moment. Please hear me, I too fail miserably at times. I can be just like them, maybe I don’t actually write it but I can surely think it! I can judge motives just like you can. I don’t think I miss speak (or write) when I say that we all have done it at one time or another. But as I read these comments I thought of my friend. I thought “Why can’t we assume the other person's motives are good? Why can’t we just believe the best of her?” Why must we think the person is bragging or whatever might come to your mind.

Luke 6:31 reminds us that we should do to them as we would want them to do to us. Phil 2:3-4 reminds us to put others above ourselves and to look out for the interest of others. I don’t think judging others’ motives is fulfilling either of these verses. Why don’t we begin the New Year with thinking the best of your spouse, your friends, family, the person in the pew next to you, your co-workers and that stranger you just met on the street? Let us try to assume that what others say or do are for the right reasons and with the right motives. Yes, some might prove not worthy of assuming good but why not assuming the good until they prove otherwise. I am sure we all have been wrongly judged for our motives. We know the hurt it causes. So from now on, why don’t we believe the best about one another just like we would want others to think of us.

Father, When I begin to assume wrongly about another person please remind me to think of whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, or worthy of praise. (Phil 4:8)