We had a big dinner and I made a cake last night. My sweet treat of a little girl decorated it in candy eyeballs. Because why not? Fall leaves or autumn shaded sprinkles were an option; one of which I likely would have run with. Nope. Not her. Eyeballs. Better sorry than safe. Sometimes I envy that little lunatic.
I make dinner almost on a daily basis, but the cake… That just rarely happens without occasion. The kids were in a full out state of shock and awe and played loudly and joyfully well past lights out as though they had no idea that we knew what they were doing. All of the giggles and wrestling, and then giggles over the wrestling and jokes about farts and poop. (Can I say fart and poop here?) I remember those moments, shoving my face into a pillow and cackling into its warmth, now damp with the breath and tears of uncontrollable laughter because my parents might-could hear us clowning around in the dark well past lights out. The thrill was in the joy of both the play and not being caught. Now as a mother, I realize that we were totally caught; outed. The jig was totally up. Given my recollection of the shenanigans, there’s no way they didn’t hear it. They allowed the joy, unabated, because they too probably played in the dark past bedtime with their treasured siblings as though getting caught was a matter of great risk.
Those little
daredevils. These are my favorite moments, as a mother. Remembering the joy of
childhood, and viewing it from the new perspective of mother-remembering.
The kids just couldn’t get beyond the idea of having cake for no reason. They all offered their explanations. One: “Oh yeah!!! It’s for your birthday, right?” Two: “It’s because I got all of my work done at school!” Three: “Mom do we get cake because you want me to like peanut butter? Because I’m not going to. I’m too little. Grownups like peanut butter.” They all have their presumptions. Without skipping a beat, I say, “No buddies, sometimes, it’s just good to have your life, be so thankful, and celebrate nothing with cake.”
It took me back; those words so familiarly sweet to the taste, effortlessly left my lips. In a split second, I recognized their familiarity, a gracious morsel of greater things… Optimism, and thanksgiving, with a touch of gentleness; a reminder of some innocent moment from ages before. Among the chatter of dinnertime and that eyeball covered confection sitting right next to the hacked into plate of steaming chicken pot pie, I had to remember. “Later on, I need to walk a little slower through this thought.” I know that I for one, trap myself within the doubt, insecurity, and otherwise hullabaloo state of the mind, and get lost in there indefinitely. Life goes on, and it actually goes on so fast, that amongst the shuffle of the going; within the emotion and insecurity of its instances, habits form. Damage unnoticed. I once thought that changing meant pressing through the insecurity or "issue" and pretending that it isn't there. But that's how baggage develops. I once, unfortunately all too recently, believed this. That’s not what actually happens. It doesn't go away.”
The kids just couldn’t get beyond the idea of having cake for no reason. They all offered their explanations. One: “Oh yeah!!! It’s for your birthday, right?” Two: “It’s because I got all of my work done at school!” Three: “Mom do we get cake because you want me to like peanut butter? Because I’m not going to. I’m too little. Grownups like peanut butter.” They all have their presumptions. Without skipping a beat, I say, “No buddies, sometimes, it’s just good to have your life, be so thankful, and celebrate nothing with cake.”
It took me back; those words so familiarly sweet to the taste, effortlessly left my lips. In a split second, I recognized their familiarity, a gracious morsel of greater things… Optimism, and thanksgiving, with a touch of gentleness; a reminder of some innocent moment from ages before. Among the chatter of dinnertime and that eyeball covered confection sitting right next to the hacked into plate of steaming chicken pot pie, I had to remember. “Later on, I need to walk a little slower through this thought.” I know that I for one, trap myself within the doubt, insecurity, and otherwise hullabaloo state of the mind, and get lost in there indefinitely. Life goes on, and it actually goes on so fast, that amongst the shuffle of the going; within the emotion and insecurity of its instances, habits form. Damage unnoticed. I once thought that changing meant pressing through the insecurity or "issue" and pretending that it isn't there. But that's how baggage develops. I once, unfortunately all too recently, believed this. That’s not what actually happens. It doesn't go away.”
Matthew 6:22
& 23 sheds light on this. Pun in 3, 2… “The eye is the lamp of the body. If
your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes
are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light
within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”
They’re littered throughout the Bible. I call them God’s love-taps. I’ve taken this verse particularly in the practical sense before. In exuding something for the sake of a witness. “City on a hill” kinda stuff, if you know what I mean. For the sake of having something special for the world to see; to know Him from the inside out so that we may make Him known.
They’re littered throughout the Bible. I call them God’s love-taps. I’ve taken this verse particularly in the practical sense before. In exuding something for the sake of a witness. “City on a hill” kinda stuff, if you know what I mean. For the sake of having something special for the world to see; to know Him from the inside out so that we may make Him known.
Last night
and this morning, I looked at those easy to read words, and hugged onto their
warmth and comfort. It isn’t about the appearance of good. None of this is
about appearing anything. If your eyes and your heart are not fixed as they
should be… On truth, on grace and mercy, but instead are fixed on the appearance of truth and grace and mercy,
you are missing the point entirely.
Jesus isn’t
talking about looking at something, ignoring the potential for darkness, and
convincing the self of the presence of light or nonexistence of darkness for
the sake of looking like a person
that has it all together; looking like
an optimist. He is saying search out the good, pray over it, believe on it. Fix
your eyes on those things. Alter your perspective to the extent of giving
thanks, and casting the rest on Him.
Guys-- Make the cake. Make it for the gifts unknown, for the blessings abounding to come, and make it for the everlasting goodness of simply having Him. I sent the remainder of ours away this morning. But maybe cake is in order just a bit more often than I thought.
Guys-- Make the cake. Make it for the gifts unknown, for the blessings abounding to come, and make it for the everlasting goodness of simply having Him. I sent the remainder of ours away this morning. But maybe cake is in order just a bit more often than I thought.
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