“You
don’t understand what they’ve done to hurt me!”
“They keep hurting me, over and over!”
“They aren’t remorseful for what they have done!”
“How do you forgive someone who will not admit what they did to you?”
I have been here. I understand.
In the past
there have been times when I would try over and over to forgive as an act of
obedience to God. I would remind myself that HE forgave MY sins AGAINST Him. Horrible
sins of murder (Matt 5:21-22), idolatry, adultery against God and list goes on
and on. Still, with this knowledge I would find it almost impossible to
forgive. Forgiveness to the point that I could look at those who hurt me and love
them. And I certainly could not get to the point that I could PRAY for them. (Matt
5:39-45)
Until…
I prayed that God would allow me to see those that hurt, offended, abused and shamed me as He sees them. I realized that I need God's help and I needed His perspective. I needed to see them through the eyes of Jesus.
Until…
I prayed that God would allow me to see those that hurt, offended, abused and shamed me as He sees them. I realized that I need God's help and I needed His perspective. I needed to see them through the eyes of Jesus.
God began
to answer that prayer as He showed me my own heart. I was a wretched
sinner (and still can be). But God looked down on me with mercy, grace and
love. In His marvelous grace, which I will never understand, He sent His Son to
die so that my sins could be forgiven. I did not ask Him, I did not, do
not, deserve His Grace. Yet He gives it to me freely.
In the quietness of prayer I heard "How are your sins different than those who have sinned against you? Are they not sinners in need of a Savior? Did God not sent His Son to die for them also." In truth they are not different than me. Not really. We are both sinners. We both need Jesus.
You see, God allowed and continues to allow me to see my enemies and those who have sinned against me through the eyes of the cross. The cross where Jesus took upon Himself the sin of mankind. MY sin, THEIR sin. YOUR sin.
When we look at those who have hurt us, who have sinned against us, through the cross of Jesus we can forgive, we can love and pray for them. To say they don’t deserve God’s forgiveness, mercy or grace is to say that neither do we. It also says that we do not fully understand the GRACE that God gives to us.
Do not think for a moment this is easy or can be done quickly. We need the helper of God's Spirit. It’s a process of letting go of the hurt and giving the pain over to God. There will still be days that the enemy will bring up memories of long ago hurts. Or someone will betray or hurt you again in the present but if we remember to pray for our enemies we will hear that still, small voice that says “I have forgiven YOU, you need to forgive them.” Yes! He has forgiven us of SO much, how can we not forgive those who hurt us?
In the quietness of prayer I heard "How are your sins different than those who have sinned against you? Are they not sinners in need of a Savior? Did God not sent His Son to die for them also." In truth they are not different than me. Not really. We are both sinners. We both need Jesus.
You see, God allowed and continues to allow me to see my enemies and those who have sinned against me through the eyes of the cross. The cross where Jesus took upon Himself the sin of mankind. MY sin, THEIR sin. YOUR sin.
When we look at those who have hurt us, who have sinned against us, through the cross of Jesus we can forgive, we can love and pray for them. To say they don’t deserve God’s forgiveness, mercy or grace is to say that neither do we. It also says that we do not fully understand the GRACE that God gives to us.
Do not think for a moment this is easy or can be done quickly. We need the helper of God's Spirit. It’s a process of letting go of the hurt and giving the pain over to God. There will still be days that the enemy will bring up memories of long ago hurts. Or someone will betray or hurt you again in the present but if we remember to pray for our enemies we will hear that still, small voice that says “I have forgiven YOU, you need to forgive them.” Yes! He has forgiven us of SO much, how can we not forgive those who hurt us?
What they
have done, how many times they have hurt you, or whether or not they admit
wrong doing, none of it matters. Jesus says that we are to forgive. He
understands how hard it is for us which is why we have The Spirit help us through.
If you are
struggling to forgive someone pray for the ability to see them through the
CROSS and ask The
Holy Spirit to help you forgive them.
A few verses on forgiveness to
meditate on:
- Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you. Gal 4:22 (AMP)
- Pay attention and always be on guard [looking out for one another]! If your brother sins and disregards God’s precepts, solemnly warn him; and if he repents and changes, forgive him. Even if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him [that is, give up resentment and consider the offense recalled and annulled].” Luke17:3-4 (AMP)
- “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor (fellow man) and hate your enemy.’ “But I say to you, love [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for] your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may [show yourselves to] be the children of your Father who is in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on those who are evil and on those who are good, and makes the rain fall on the righteous [those who are morally upright] and the unrighteous [the unrepentant, those who oppose Him]. Matt 5:43-45 (AMP)
- bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Colossians 3:13 (NASB)
- But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7 (NASB)
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