Seasons

Admittedly, I do not like change. And, if I were to be really honest, I dislike change so much that even when it is a change that is good and positive and exciting I approach it with trepidation. I do not even like the change of seasons, though I relish those things each Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring. Bikini weather, apple picking, snowflakes, and tulips.

Many things have been changing these last months, and will be changing even more in the coming weeks. Some very sad and some highly anticipated with the joy they will bring.

God says there will be seasons, not just the earthly changes to the landscape, but there is a time and place for everything in our lives. The details. The newness, and the old passing away.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 speaks to this:

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Yet, my spirit still battles with this. My humanness falters, struggles, tears leak from my eyes.

Just days ago an acquaintance reached her arms to wrap around me, her words, “I am so sorry for the loss of your dear, sweet Grandmother.” Her words were apropos, as my Gran did go to be with Jesus on August 3.

I am still not comfortable with this reality. I dislike the change. Yesterday, I looked at a piece of jewelry she had given me when I was quite young, and it hit me like a shocking slap across the face that indeed she was no longer on this earth. I could not talk to her. I could not hear her say to me, “I love you. More.

An unwelcome season.

But.

God says “there will be a time to be born and a time to die.”

The words of my acquaintance came flitting through my mind, “ I am sorry you lost your Grandmother.”

I breathed in. Tears afresh again.

I did not lose my Gran. I know EXACTLY where she is. I know she stood by Jesus and was welcomed home by him with open arms. I imagined that my Grandpa was standing near to those incredible gates of heaven when she entered in.

With that, I thought of nearly an hour after she had stepped beyond the veil, she stood with the Savior of All Humanity and watched as her great-grandson’s reaction to her death played out. He bowed his head, joined by me, and his wife and their precious little girl and gave thanks for his Gran’s life and all that she had taught our family.

So while I still do not easily embrace change, I know that it is all, every last detail, in God’s hands, in God’s providence for my good. And, I am comforted that God will, in fact, work all things - change included - for my good. Just as in the passing of my Gran my family, generations, were brought to their knees in prayer.