Is there a moment in your life that you can remember very well? I mean, like, close your eyes and you’re there – the sights, sounds, smells, feels – all of it. Choose that memory for you that has yet to be unaffected by the passing of time. Maybe this is a very happy moment. My mother tells the story of the time she first held me in her arms. Maybe your moment isn’t a happy one. Perhaps it’s sad or traumatic. May the Lord flood your mind with His peace now if this is the case.
Please let me
ask a couple more questions. Where was Jesus in your memory? Have you
discovered him there yet? He was
there. He’s never an innocent bystander, disembodied voice, or standing
unattached on the periphery sideline. You are the most precious thing to him
and anything that happens to you (joy or sorrow) he is right there. God
describes you as the “apple of his eye” (Deut. 32:10, Zech.2:8) which means
there isn’t anyone he cherishes more. “It is the Lord who goes before you. He
will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be
dismayed” (Deut. 31:8).
There is an
unforgettable moment for me when I needed to be reminded of those things. I was
sitting in my tiny freshman dorm room stereo-typically decorated with area rug,
wall posters, and mini-fridge. I had just found out that I was pregnant.
Needless to say, it was a terribly inconvenient time to be in such a state. I
hadn’t told anyone yet. Just the thought of that was too terrifying. But, I
knew that God knew and telling him was a starting place. That afternoon he led
me to Psalm 51 and transformed and strengthened a crippling moment.
Here’s the
long story short: God made me his
child, yet I was sinning without intention of stopping. God was merciful to me
and stopped me in the precise way he knew I’d listen and cry out to him. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your
steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions
(51:1).
God made me feel
very alone at that time for a reason. I had to confess to my incorrect position
in our relationship and put God first – not myself, boyfriend, or family. Against you, you only, have I sinned and
done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and
blameless in your judgment (51:4).
God forgave me
and was the first one to speak words of joy to me about my pregnancy. Without
those words I may have ducked off the hard road to come. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be
whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have
broken rejoice (51:7-8).
God then gave me
the spirit to endure the difficult part of repentance which was right living
despite the consequences. The Holy Spirit’s presence was palpable in my room
and I felt him breathing clean heart air for the first time in a while. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew
a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not
your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold
me with a willing spirit (51:10-12).
God returned me
to a place of right standing with Him. There I could praise without shame or
guilt and testify to his saving power. Then
I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you. Deliver
me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing
aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare
your praise (51:13-15).
God has a purpose
for all of our life experiences and those moments that we can’t forget he wants
to use to draw us closer to Him and draw others to Him as well. What was an
unforgettable moment for you? Where was Jesus? What does God have to say about
it in His Word? Once you’ve figured that out your story has power. (“And they
have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony,
for they loved not their lives even unto death” Rev. 12:11.) So, work out those
memories for the Lord’s glory. Ask a trusted friend or woman of the Word to
listen. Get comfortable sharing. There is someone out there who needs to hear
where God has been in your life because they are failing to see Him in their
own.
When we tell of
what God has done in our life we use the word “testimony.” It’s kind of a
church-y word, but that’s okay. It’s a word that sets the church apart because
Christ has set us apart and wants the difference to be made known. Here a
couple of verses about testimony that can help guide you in developing your
own:
Testimony should
focus on Jesus – “And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming
to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to
know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with
you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my
message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the
Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of
men but in the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:1-5
Testimony is
strengthened by right living – “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as
holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a
reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having
a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good
behavior in Christ may be put to shame.” 1 Peter 3:15-16
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