Attending this year’s SHE Leads Conference with two other women from our church last Saturday was definitely time well spent. I always appreciate hearing from other godly, influential women who are leaders in their field and willing to share their areas of expertise to help women grow in their leadership capacities. I thought I’d pass on some of the things I gleaned, both new and old information that I hope will be helpful. If you’re anything like me, you may have heard a lot of these thoughts before but when they are said differently, it gets my attention in a fresh way.
Our keynote speaker, Jenni Catron, reminded us once again that we are all responsible to steward our influence well, particularly so the lives of others can be changed for God’s kingdom. Each one of us, with our specific personalities, life experiences, gifts, and education was made to influence our world in unique ways. We all have the sacred opportunity and responsibility to shape lives! We are all leaders in some way and we each have a sphere of influence that God wants us to affect for His purposes and the good of others. That sphere may include your family members (children & grandkids), friends, co-workers, life group members, etc. How well are you stewarding the influence you’ve been entrusted with? Let that question sink in for a bit as you consider how you would answer.
There is one main obstacle, Jenni pointed out, that tends to kill our ability to lead and influence others well and that is fear. Some of these fears sound like,
- I don’t measure up
- I’m not enough
- I’m not good enough
- I’m not capable enough
- I’m not strong enough
Haven’t we all said this to ourselves multiple times causing us to shrink back from an opportunity God has provided to influence others? Have you found yourself believing any of these lies recently? We need to replace each of these fears with the truth of God’s Word and the promises of His presence, His power and His provision to enable us to fulfill our specific calling.
Our keynote speaker brought out an interesting idea I had never thought about from the leader’s greatest command in Mark 12:30:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Here’s how she broke this down:
- Leading with all your heart/relationships:
- Leading with all your soul/spiritual awareness
- Leading with all your mind/wisdom
- Leading with all your strength/vision
We each tend to lead from one of these areas but we were encouraged to pursue growth in each of these. Good leadership requires all of me.
One of the most helpful breakout sessions I attended that day on leadership was by Lisa Melillo on the topic of Resolving Conflict Through Spiritual Insight & Practical Skill. Here are some takeaways I found helpful:
· Be alert to what your triggers are: lack of sleep, physical pain, stress, emotional family situation, being misunderstood or dismissed, etc.
· The (potential) cost of conflict: time, eroded trust, broken relationships, stress/anxiety/tension
· The benefits of conflict: growth, restored relationships, new perspective, reliance upon God, faith built up
· Common causes of conflict: desire for different outcomes, competing priorities, change (too much; too fast), strong emotions (frustration, anger, etc.), offense
· Conflict is inevitable. The goal is not to eliminate it but to reduce its harmful effects and maximize its useful effects.
· Our enemy tries to stir up offense and conflict so we will become ineffective as Christ followers.
· Our perception of ourselves may be very different than how others see us.
· As leaders, we need to model humility when confronted and respond with grace and not defensiveness. Peacemaking is a demonstration of godly leadership.
· What we say (content), How we say it (tone; delivery), When we say it (timing), Why we say it (to build up or tear down) all matter to God.
Do any of these strike a chord with you? According to 2 Corinthians 5:18-20, all Christ followers are called to a “ministry of reconciliation” just as Christ came to bring peace between hostile sinners and a holy God. This matters to God. The oneness, harmony, and unity the Father, Son and Holy Spirit enjoy with each other is the kind of relationship we, as image bearers, were created to participate in with God and with others.
Hopefully, there was something here that pricked your soul, encouraged your heart or somehow prompted a desire to dig a little deeper in some area in your own life regarding your influence as a leader. Don’t minimize the influence you have but seek to use it for God’s glory and the good of those He has placed in your circle.
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