What Rules Your Heart?

It’s something we all struggle with to one degree or another. Regardless of our race, social or economic status, gender, religious affiliation or education, it seeks to paralyze, terrorize and immobilize our lives and rule our hearts. We’ve all experienced it a thousand times over… sometimes in deceptively subtle ways while other times it’s presence is so powerful it seems to grab us by the throat and knock to the ground. I’m talking about fear … and more specifically, the fear of man. You know the feeling … heart racing, sweaty palms, elephant sitting on your chest, lump in your throat, a mouth that suddenly feels like cotton, nervous fidgeting, a surge of redness rising up your neck. You feel trapped, threatened, insecure, and vulnerable. Fear of man can dominate and easily rule our hearts if we yield to its control.

As I recently read the book of Nehemiah, I was struck by this recurring theme of fear. In chapter 6 alone, Nehemiah makes 4 references to how the enemies of God were using fear tactics in hopes of bringing the work of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem to a screeching halt (4:9, 13, 14, 19).

Those opposed to the rebuilding of Jerusalem’s walls hoped that “their hands would drop from the work” and the project would be aborted. Thankfully, Nehemiah and the Jewish exiles did not succumb to the fear of man. Despite repeated threats and fierce opposition, these workers pressed on together and the walls of Jerusalem were completed in record time. 

Although most of us will likely never experience the kind of life threatening situation as these laborers faced, we still find ourselves frequently wrestling with the paralyzing fear of man on a number of more subtle fronts. Not convinced? Ask yourself these questions:

• Have I ever remained silent for fear that speaking up would be met with indifference, ridicule, or worse, disdain from others? 
• Have I ever said “Yes” to someone for fear that my “No” would be met with disappointment or disapproval? 
• Are my choices ever ruled by what others might think or say about me? 
• Do I decline when asked to serve in an area out of my comfort zone for fear of failure in the eyes of others? 
• Do I keep my true opinions to myself rather than sharing them when asked for honest feedback for fear of rejection? 
• Have I ever stuffed my confusion or questions rather than asking for clarification with an individual or group for fear of appearing stupid? 
• Have I ever gone along with the crowd and participated in something that made me uneasy for fear of being singled out? 
• Do I ever embellish or flat out lie in an effort to impress someone I want to be thought well of?

Ouch!! Can you see yourself in any of these? I sure can. Unfortunately, none of us are immune! At the very least, the forces of darkness regularly bombard us with the temptation to be ruled by the fear of man in these areas and more so that our “hands would drop from the work” that God has called us to. The enemy of our souls wants us to become preoccupied with our own physical, emotional or relational self-preservation to the point we are willing to respond in sinful ways.

When speaking on this same topic to a group of women in Ghana several years ago, I asked for a show of hands if they picked out their clothes that morning carefully weighing what others might think of their outfit of choice. Only a few brave (and honest) souls timidly raised their hands. Then I asked, “Now how many of you didn’t raise your hands for fear of what the rest might think?”  The room erupted in laughter as several hands went up. Point made! 

So how did Nehemiah and the laborers equip themselves to resist the fear of man in the face of this relentless opposition and threats to God’s work? Although several important responses can be observed, I was particularly challenged by three of them.

1.    They prayed… and they prayed … and they prayed some more (4:4, 9, 6:14).

2.    They were battle-ready as they continued to labor (4:17-18).

3.    The fear of the Lord trumped their fear of man (5:9, 15)

This last one really caught my attention. I had never noticed before how prominently the fear of God replaced their fear of man, enabling them to press on and do what God had called them to. It would have been so easy to give in to their fears and allow the enemy to triumph but they resisted …together, choosing to walk in the fear of the Lord.

Scripture warns us that the fear of man is a snare (Prov. 26:25). It’s a trap. If our hearts are ruled by pleasing people rather than living for the audience of One then we have become enslaved by man.

I’ve certainly been ensnared. I’ve believed the lie that what a certain individual or group of people thinks of me is what matters most. I’ve chosen to let the fear of man rule my heart rather than seeking to please God. I had lost sight of the powerful truth that my true value and worth are not determined by others but by my Savior.  I finally came to a place where I not only had to admit and repent of my sin as a people pleaser but I was also wooed by the gracious hand of God who wanted to set me free from the fear of man through the renewing of my mind by His truth.

I’m still definitely a work in progress but these are some of the Scriptures that have helped me over the years to demolish the lies that perpetuate the fear of man in my heart and allow Christ to rule instead:

“Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name.” Psalm 86:11 (NIV)  

“The LORD delights in those who fear Him, who put their trust in his unfailing love.” Psalm 147:11 (NIV)

 “The LORD Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, He is the one you are to dread.” Isaiah 8:13 (NIV) 

“He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation ad wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure.” Isaiah 33:6 (NIV) 

“The mind of sinful man is death but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6 (NIV)

Like the builders of Nehemiah’s day, let’s encourage one another to walk in the fear of the LORD!