Guard Your Community

So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Romans 14:19

I am sure I am not alone when it comes to being hurt in relationships. Even in, or especially in, those relationships that are dearest to us. They must be guarded and they take intentionality as we grow and develop. But sometimes words are said and taken the wrong way. Or actions are misinterupted. We allow little things to effect our relationship. We let our insecurities overwhelm us and they are allowed to fester and grow. Instead of just going to the person and talk it out we believe the lies we tell ourselves.

I know, because I have done it far too often. I have allowed small petty things to ruin, or almost ruin a relationship. I have taken a look from a friend and assumed she must be upset with me. An unreturned phone call or text as we are growing apart or even she's tired of me. So many lies. So many insecurities.

But you know what? God calls us to community, even when it's messy. I have learned that in order to guard my relationships I need to be honest even if my honesty is uncomfortable. Time after time I have gone to people and shared I my insecurities, the lies I had believed about our relationship. I have asked them if we are okay. To be honest this has not been easy. It's very difficult. What if everything I've felt is true? More often than not it's been my own crazy imgination.

In the process of doing this though I have learned some very valuable lessons. I have found that if I can remember these 3 things my relationships, and therefore my community, is unified. Also, these three things are good reminders when it comes to our relationship with God...you know, those times we doubt how He feels about us.

We need to remember...

Who they have been in the past. Remind yourself of circumstances, and life decisions that have spoken of their character. Be reminded of their consistency in choices and the living out of life in Christ.

Their heart. Remember those times they've shared their heart with you. Go back and list all the things you know to be true about this person. Their love for God, for others, for you. How they have been there for you. Loved you. Invested in you.

Who our enemy is. Remember that we fight the same enemy and that enemy would do anything to stop the work that is being done in God’s kingdom. He loves nothing more than to create friction and undercurrents in order to divide the body of Christ. He doesn’t want God’s people getting along. He hates unity in the family of God and will do anything to stop it. Choose to rejoice that Christ’s love won and the enemy was defeated in this battle.

My dear sisters, we need to guard the unity among us. We need to fight for community. It's so easy to let things slide. To let our insecurities speak lies. God's desire for each of us is to love one another. To get along with one another, not just get in our own small communities but with all believers.

Perhaps you are far better at this than I am. Perhaps you don't need this reminder, but I know I do and I am pretty sure there are a lot that are like me. So can I ask you to join me in choosing to go to that person (or to God) immediately when you have doubts, no matter how small or petty you think your insecurities or doubts are? Can we value communty over looking foolish?

Let us all remember to guard our relationships with our brothers and sister in Christ. Let us remember that we all fight the same battle…the same enemy.

What about you? Are you willing to go to your friend, your brother or sister in Christ, your pastor, Bible study leader or church leadership and fight for community. Are you willing to humble yourself and die to pride so that the body of Christ will be guarded? Will you, at all cost, protect the community of Christ against an enemy that seeks to destroy?

Who do you need to talk to today?

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves ; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Phil 2:1-4

Praise Him Anyway!

Keeping a good attitude has been a struggle lately. More often than not I'm feeling dissatisfied, frustrated and even downright angry at my circumstances. Life isn't fair!

I've been reading through the Psalms in the morning before I head to work. Sometimes the laments validate my bad mood, but they always end in praise even when my thoughts don't. David often reminds us to sing and shout for joy! But what about if I'm not feeling it? What about when I'm in the middle of hard and terrible things?

David set an example - he faced a lot of serious challenges. Friends turning against him. Temptations stronger than his resistance. Rebellious children. Death of a son. Strained relationships. Whatever it was he faced he acknowledged the difficulty, and simultaneously, he praised God's character: mighty and powerful, all-knowing, tender, just, loving and kind, righteous, and infinitely faithful.

It's what I'm called to do too, if I am to be a woman after God's own heart. His character does not depend on my ever changing circumstances, and in fact His praise will sound louder to the world around me when it's in the midst of hard times. He is always good, no matter what.

I encourage you to praise Him anyway on your difficult days. Read the Psalms. Think about God's never changing characteristics. Turn that praise music up! There's nothing better to lift your mood.

"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul will make its boast on the Lord; The humble will hear it and rejoice. O magnify the Lord with me, And let us exalt His name together!" Psalm 34:1

Silhouette

It was my first time in church. I had a wide brim black hat on, pulled low over my eyes to make it easier to avoid eye contact. I had a pink Chanel suit on, with black grosgrain bows at the wrists. My nails were lacquered to match my ensemble. My appearance was entirely intentional, I wanted to present myself in complete control and no worse for the weathering of my recent days.

Do you see the real me? Or, do you simply go by a silhouette of edges. Am I a composite of what you “assume” me to be? Made up of details that you judge from my surface.

Let me go back, this was nearly three decades ago. I was attending my best - since I was five - friend’s wedding. It was being held in the church where I was raised and had attended church twice a day on Sunday and nearly ever Wednesday. This church, and the people in it, had always been my safe haven. Until this day.

 I felt as a newly divorced, newly minted Single Mom that my faith, that my life would be judged as less than, as less spiritual or godly than it once had been.

 I had spent hours the night before crying because I was afraid of the whispers and the knowing looks that would come my way, since more than half of those in attendance that afternoon in June had probably all known me since about the time I had lost my first tooth.

 Instead of looking at this situation, which seemed so daunting to me, I should have looked at it as God commanded Samuel. But, the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not judge by his appearance…” (I Samuel 16:7a)

 I was totally living out of my flesh.

 I was hoping my appearance would make me worthy and acceptable. I was not relying on what God said about me, that I was so valuable that His son’s life was sacrificed for me. I was hoping that glamorizing my outside would make my trials and tribulations, my sins and my regrets overlooked, instead of living in the forgiveness and the cleansing Jesus’s stripes on his back and subsequent death had afforded me.

There it was clear as Caribbean water. Judging - and being judged - by appearances. PRIDE.

It was pride that led to my insecurity, it was pride that led to me wanting to appear something that in my heart I was not, it was pride that judged the people I would see before they judged me. Pride that leads us just to see a silhouette of someone else, or leads us to want to be seen as a silhouette of something we are not. It is pride that leads to misunderstanding. To wrong judgments. To discontent.

Pride leads to conflict, (Proverbs 13:10a) and that is entirely what is causing the unrest in a nation that once espoused that it was created under one God, our Lord Jesus Christ.

Pride looks at the differences in people. Pride looks only skin deep, and sometimes not even that far. Pride looks and judges. Saying, “I am better because I drive this car,” “I am better because I arrive at church on time,” “I am better because of the tone of my skin,” and “I know who you are because I can see you with my eyes and not with my heart.”

 All the conflicts that are raging in our country really are founded in pride. We are not looking at everyone around us with God’s eyes, and the truth is, The Lord does not see things the way we do. People judge by outward appearance, while the Lord looks at the heart. (I Samuel 16:7c).

Grace, humility, a lack of pride and judgmental ideals has to start in our heart, even before it starts in demonstrations and picket lines. Hearts have to change before any changes can be affected in our homes, in our towns, nationally, and globally. Change isn’t an outward thing - it is entirely a heart thing. Our hearts should be completely governed by God, and if they are, our actions will be a testament to His place in our lives.

If we are truly following the Lord, we know our steps are ordained, and that there are no accidents or coincidences that happen to each one of us, all the events in our lives God is working in. "And we know that for those who love God that he works all things together for the good of those who are called according to his purpose". (Romans 8:28) This has to be applied for us to navigate these uncertain times. While many of today’s events can be saddening, disturbing, and even frightening, God is at work. He has not left us.

 But, the choice in these uncertain days is entirely our own. Will we live in a way that God can work in our hearts and change them during this constantly fluctuating, uneasy time? Or will we succumb to pride, to fear, to anger…

In closing:

Dear Lord, Please clothe me in humility. Do not let my pride cause me to judge others. Give me your eyes to see those other than myself. And, Lord, break my heart for others as Your heart has been broken for me. 

 I pray these things in your Son Jesus’ name, ~ Amen

Fruit of the Heart

When the ground soaks up the falling rain and bears a good crop for the farmer, it has God’s blessing. But if a field bears thorns and thistles, it is useless. The farmer will soon condemn that field and burn it.
Hebrews 6: 7-8

Each time I come across this passage I am often left asking a few questions of my heart. If I am a follower of Christ, if I have been enlighten by His truth does my life show it? If I have experienced and tasted the goodness of God do others see His goodness in and through me? Does the ground of my heart soak up His truth? Do I allow His word to penetrate all of my life so that a good fruit can bear forth?

As I sit here asking myself these questions once again I can't help but think now is a good time to really reflect on the state of my heart before God. After all, for the most part, life has stilled. We have no place we must run off too. We have been "forced" to stillness. So, honestly, what better time to ask God to show us where we are lacking the fruit of the Spirit? What better time than now to ask God to show us the thorns and thistles of our hearts?

So are you willing to join me? Can we go before the Lord and honestly ask ourselves these questions?  Does our life produce the fruits listed in Galatians 5:22-23 or are there more thorns and thistles than we care to admit?

We all will have thorns growing from time to time but there should not be field of them. Why not sit before the Lord today and ask Him what kind of “fruit” your life is truly producing. If you are walking in the Spirit of God then you life and your fruit will show it. Let's journey together and pray for one another as we allow God to create in our hearts a willingness to allow His fruit to grow.

A prayer: Oh Father how we desire a heart that so pliable and ready to sit and soak up your Words of truth! Show us those areas that the ground of our heart might be hard. Help us to give you access to all of our heart, all of our weakness, sins, and even our strengths so that we can place them at Your feet to do with them as you will. Father show us the areas of my lives that are producing thorns and thistles instead of the fruit of Your word. And show us those places in our life where we are reaping Your fruit so that we might thank and praise Your name! May our life reap love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Gal 5:22-23) Father we know that apart from you we know we will produce just the opposite of these, so Father once again we can lay our lives down at your feet. That we would surrender all that we are…help us to surrender it all into Your hands. Amen

Come To The Table

Growing up in a family steeped in Italian traditions meant sitting at a table for a five course meal on Sundays. Each of us kids was very intentionally seated between two adults. This strategic placement was meant to ensure that we ate every serving of food that was heaped on our already burgeoning plates. In between courses, while my Nona, Gran and the aunties and the mothers washed dinner dishes and BisNonnel and the Uncles sipped grappa, we children were given a reprieve to run and play in the back yard. Unless it was raining this left us shrieking and playing tag and making as much noise as possible so we would be prepared to return to the table to be seen but not heard.

 Each Sunday the requisite family members would make an appearance, the only time a person missed dinner at Nona’s house was if they were in the hospital or had found their place in the grave.

 There were always extra chairs. Despite being about to set platters of steaming food on the table, were someone unexpectedly to walk through the door, there would be a place. Silverware and plates would be pushed a little closer together and an extra place setting would be set, a chair pulled up.

 Countless childhood Sundays. The promise of family recipes and homemade pasta. The invitation was always extended. The table. Always set.

 My BisNonnel and Nona’s Sunday dinner table makes me crave with the earthly imaginings of The Table, that eternal place, that God has set for me.

 The Table is set both during the worst and the best of times. As God promises in His Holy Scriptures in Psalm 23 verse 5, He goes so far as to set a table in the midst of my fiercest enemies, when my life is fraught with unsettledness or danger or deepest gnawing sadness. He says come sit with me, dine with me. Find peace at my table. I promise you this peace always if you come to my table. And you can come to The Table at any time, there is no need for call ahead seating because God says we have to access to His Table and its offerings at all times (Ephesians 2:18).

 Not only am I always welcome - as are you - at The Table, but I am a part of the family. There is no rearranging of plates or setting the wine goblets aside. My place is set prior to my ever arriving. Because, according to the word of God in Romans 8 verse 15 I have been adopted into the family of God. I belong, as do you sweet sister. Not only have we been adopted by God, we are joint heirs with Jesus Christ His Son (Romans 8:17). We belong.

 As my Nona would say, “Venite como siete.” Come as you are, just as you are, come to The Table for God in His greatest and grandest providence has a perpetual place for you. The invitation is always extended, no matter what hill or valley you find yourself in because “You are beyond condemnation” (Romans 8:1) and welcomed with grace.

 So, come, come, come to The Table.

Having Jesus Is Better

Before I begin I just wanted to share that what I am about to write is not something that I consistently live out. I haven’t arrived. I struggle day to day to live here, sometimes moment to moment. But I so desperately want to move this truth from a head knowledge into my heart so that I live it consistently. But I need reminders from God and His people. Just last week I was reminded of a truth I had long buried somewhere. A truth I had walked in before but now it was gone. It was the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 which reminds me that Jesus is sufficient for all my weaknesses, distress, and difficulties. When I am weak, He is strong.

 I know this verse, I have read it, studied it, quoted it and shared it, but the thing is I am now learning to apply it into my life in a new way. Friday night I sat with two friends and shared my health struggles. I was honest about the depths of pain, both emotionally and physically. These two women have been where I am, they are were I am. Both live with chronic illness and pain. They were encouraging, pointed me to Jesus and then prayed with me. During prayer one of them said something like, “help Sharon see that You are better than her health.” That changed something inside me. Kind of a refocusing of my thoughts. Jesus is better, He is sufficient, He is more than enough. If I never go into remission of Graves Disease, if this life is my new normal and there is no healing here on earth, Jesus is enough.

 Let’s be honest, many reading this are struggling in some form or another. It might not be with your health, but it could be with any number of trials, heartbreak or suffering. When sin entered into this world along came much pain and suffering. Suffering that we can not endure on our own. We need to invite Jesus into our suffering, for He alone will be our strength. “His grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness...Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Cor 12:9-10)

 This is not easy. We like to be comfortable. We do not like pain or suffering. We want to be healed. We place a high priority on being healthy and pain free in this life. But we need to recognize that having Jesus in our life is better than all these things. So even if God does not heal you, or rescue you out of your current circumstance He is still good. He is still faithful and He is, with a doubt, enough!

 One final though, while Jesus is enough, we must also remember that He never intended us to walk through suffering or life alone. We need our brothers and sisters in Christ. There are so many verses in God’s Word that remind us that we need to share our burdens with one another. Honestly, this is another hard area for some of us, but I pray that we learn to not only remind one another that having Jesus is better than what we are going through, but that we are there for one another for support and prayer.

Believing the Best of One Another

A number of years ago a dear friend said something that hurt me.  When I ask her about it I realized that I had misinterpted what she said. Once we talked it out she said something to me that has stuck with me in the years since. She said, “why don’t we just believe the best about one another? Assume that we have one another’s best interest at heart.” It made sense after all we love each other, want what is best for each other, and we had almost a lifetime of friendship behind us.Thinking that way has caused a lot less hurt feelings. It has made me stop and evaluate things that have been done or said to me. I mean why is it that I always am inclined toward believing the negative? Surely I am not the only one! It is so important to our relationships though to believe motives and intentions toward us are good. There would be a whole lot less hurt feelings.

Recently I saw something on social media that reminded me of this very thing. Someone had shared about something that they had done and how God had blessed them for it (no one from Cornerstone Church). It was praiseworthy. A testimony to what God had done in their life. But a few commenters took it as bragging and what followed just got ugly. There were all kinds of hurt feelings. Y'all these people were Christians. They were people who are called to love one another, build one another up and to preach the gospel. Sadly they failed in that moment. Please hear me, I too fail miserably at times. I can be just like them, maybe I don’t actually write it but I can surely think it! I can judge motives just like you can. I don’t think I miss speak (or write) when I say that we all have done it at one time or another. But as I read these comments I thought of my friend. I thought “Why can’t we assume the other person's motives are good? Why can’t we just believe the best of her?” Why must we think the person is bragging or whatever might come to your mind.

Luke 6:31 reminds us that we should do to them as we would want them to do to us. Phil 2:3-4 reminds us to put others above ourselves and to look out for the interest of others. I don’t think judging others’ motives is fulfilling either of these verses. Why don’t we begin the New Year with thinking the best of your spouse, your friends, family, the person in the pew next to you, your co-workers and that stranger you just met on the street? Let us try to assume that what others say or do are for the right reasons and with the right motives. Yes, some might prove not worthy of assuming good but why not assuming the good until they prove otherwise. I am sure we all have been wrongly judged for our motives. We know the hurt it causes. So from now on, why don’t we believe the best about one another just like we would want others to think of us.

Father, When I begin to assume wrongly about another person please remind me to think of whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, or worthy of praise. (Phil 4:8)

The Greatest Gift

Lights twinkle. Snow sparkles. There's delicious food and beautiful gifts, and the excitement and joy of children. What a lovely season!

Yet in the midst of celebration there is often sadness. Broken relationships and loss through death can be more acutely felt during this time of year. Many live with constant physical pain and illness, which makes it so much more difficult to participate in all the fun.

 The God who created this immense universe and is also able to see the mundane detail of our everyday lives took on human flesh and was born as a baby. He came to experience life as we do, with all it's joy and pain.

Jesus came to experience broken relationships. One of his closest followers, Judas, eventually committed the ultimate act of betrayal that led Jesus to the cross.

Jesus came to experience the pain of separation because of death. Not just his own, but that of those close to him too. Remember Lazarus? When Jesus saw the grief of Lazarus's sisters after his death, he entered into it with them and wept.

Jesus came to experience physical pain. Before his excruciating death on the cross, there were thorns shoved into his brow. He was beaten. He carried his own cross.

"But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, for the suffering of death crowned with glory and honor, that He, by the grace of God, might taste death for everyone. For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings."
{Hebrews 2: 9-10}

He came to suffer for us. He came so that suffering would end. On the hardest days, the only thing that can help us to endure is to look forward to eternity without emotional or physical pain. What a beautiful gift!

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
{Revelations 21: 3-4}

In Defense of Life

Abortion has again become a hot topic because of the outrage (or celebration) on social media regarding the bill passed in NY that allows late-term abortions and now no longer counts killing a pregnant woman as a double homicide by defining a person as "a human being who has been born and is alive." This was closely followed in VA by a similar bill.

In this time of human history, when semantics are used to justify the murder of millions of the most innocent and defenseless people, we need to be prepared to discuss justifications for the pro-life cause. Here are a few of the arguments used in favor of “choice”, and some resources to refute them and defend the pro-life view:

Referring to the baby as "fetus" or "blob of tissue"

1. Can a woman be pregnant with something that is not human? The answer is obvious. Taking it further can be helpful - that blob of tissue contains unique human DNA from the moment of conception - it contains the plans for the color of eyes, hair, and so on - all of the features of the person when fully formed.
2. Life begins at conception - the cells begin to divide and grow, and that is what scientists agree to be the definition of a living being.
3. Define the word "fetus". The stages of human development are this: fetus to newborn to toddler to young child to adolescent and so on.
4. Ultrasound images of fetal development: Frist Trimester images of Your Developing Baby.

Referring to abortion as an act of mercy for a child who will be born with a genetic disorder:

1. Reference famous people with genetic disorders or chronic illness who have contributed great things to humanity. Link here.
2. What about older adults or those who battle chronic illness? Do you believe their life is worth less than yours and therefore worthy of elimination?

It should be the woman's choice to do with her body what she wants, especially in the cases of rape and incest.

1. The baby is a separate being from its mother that contains unique human DNA. It will contain the woman's DNA, but it is entirely unique to the fetus. The baby is only connected physically to the woman for nourishment, it is not her body. In fact, it does not share her blood supply and if by some accident the mother and baby's blood is mixed there can be serious complications.
2. Going back to stages of development - what about a 2-year-old who is the product of rape or incest? Do we have the right to murder her?

 The child will be born into poverty and will not have what it needs to survive, the parents cannot provide for the baby

1. Adoption - although not an easy process, emotionally or physically, it allows the child LIFE.
2. Pregnancy centers support the mother and father through pregnancy and after with counseling, referrals, providing for material needs and parenting classes - Care Net, Bright Hope.
3. What would you consider a woman who had only enough for one to eat and gave it to her child? What would you consider her if she took it for herself and watched her child starve? When you love someone more than yourself, as so many mothers do, you are willing to sacrifice what you have and your own comfort for theirs. Abortion allows the mother (and father) to avoid their own sacrifice and instead sacrifice the life of their child.

This last point allows for an easy transition to a discussion of God's sacrificial love for us. He is a God who loves enough to give the life of his most precious son for us. For us, people who naturally put ourselves in his place with a desire to govern ourselves and make choices for our lives outside of his will and plan so we can feel we are in control.

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!  For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation." -Romans 5:6-11 

I would encourage you to remember to support our local pregnancy centers in any way you can - even if we all do a small part, we will be making a great difference in preserving precious lives! Bright Hope Pregnancy Support Center - www.brighthopecenters.org, offices in Allentown, Bethlehem, and Easton.

I would also encourage you to do your research - this presentation by Stephanie Gray gives many good examples of how to engage people in a conversation, rather than confronting or attacking (Stephanie Gray: "Abortion: From Controversy to Civility" | Talks at Google). It is so easy to get defensive because most people on either side of this issue feel very strongly about what they believe in.

 A great book that is helpful for planning how to effectively discuss what you believe is Tactics: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions by Gregory Koukl (Available at Christian Books)

Finally, remember grace for all, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23-24

 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:12-13

You have the knowledge, you have the resources, and you have a God who is on your side. "What then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

Please feel free to share in the comments your experiences in discussing pro-life versus pro-choice views and resources that can help us to be effective in defending life. 

References:

Outline for the defense of life from conception - http://thetorchblog.net/?p=996&fbclid=IwAR1YULskIP9t1BmhlW7AQbUNVtrySC5Hg4mZtFUt5q0LpLEFvNIMg_u6U4I

NY abortion bill: https://legislation.nysenate.gov/pdf/bills/2017/S2796

Where There Is Pain

“The problem of reconciling human suffering with the existence of a God who loves, is only insoluble so long as we attach a trivial meaning to the word "love” and look on things as if man were the center of them. Man is not the center. God does not exist for the sake of man. Man does not exist for his own sake. "Thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." We were made not primarily that we may love God (though we were made for that too) but that God may love us, that we may become objects in which the divine love may rest "well pleased".” ― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Pain, and loss, and brokenness have existed since the beginning of time. And while mankind may struggle in disparaging the existence of man and God, and God before man, the whole of the universe set into motion by a flick of His wrist, a glimmer of will across His all and everything minds-eye- and the universe, snaps into orchestral harmony- we cannot argue that pain has always been. No discussion with an atheist or even grieving heart-wide-open-baby-Christian has been without, “then why? Why if we have been created by and for a God (THE God) who loves us, why would that same God of love and joy also set sorrow and pain in the souls of so many?” And really, why not just do without? Why not just leave that one out, or those ones who would perpetrate it upon us if pain in and of itself is necessary? And we do see that pain is necessary, in the sense of self-preservation, and if you’ll allow it, divine creation. Without nerve endings to allow the pain which radiates and screams as we burn our hands on an oven, we may very well continue to drive that lacking sensation until the limb is no more. We need pain. Pain is our central alarm system. “Stop! Stop it! Don’t do that or things cease to work right!”

But what about emotional pain? What is its necessity? Does a mother need to experience the searing and abrupt, unjust loss of her child for things to work right? Does the lack of hope; black, bleak hopelessness… do we need that? To function? The hopelessness that leads us to drug abuse, to poverty, to suicide, to unspeakable evil? What about that could we ever need? Why? Because when those things exist, we can agree that the mechanisms within the human soul which differentiate healthy pain and scary pain, in some capacity, are already not working right. Things have ceased to work correctly when we have taken our lives or the lives of others or experienced the brokenness of failed marriages, abandoned children, drug and alcohol abuse. These things, and these people- they have pain and they are broken.

And here is where I am stricken- things cease to work right where there is pain.

I see the hand of God in all things. I see His hand at work in the trees, I can feel Him at work as I watch my children mull over a math problem. I almost feel like loving Jesus is the continuous up-springing of awareness of His everywhere and everything, and His purpose; of His hands. The winds of life, the proverbial breath of His lungs. It wasn’t always the case, though. I’ve had  “God is a bully” moments, too. Hard teenage and pre-adult years, teeming with anger and resentment of that same all-seeing, all-knowing, coming and going, and intentional God. Infidelity despite children, knees with broken skin, begging Him to relent. Make it stop. “This isn’t fair.”

And yet today, I sit in a cacophony of grace, and goodness, and mercy. Jesus, the mercy. I tap at this computer on a day mixed with both joy and sorrow simultaneously, with my coffee sitting too cold, among the voices of three and not two, in a home that we own, on the anniversary of my children's adoption. Grace, and goodness, and mercy. Divorce, and sorrow, and pain. Lord- searing, tearing pain. But He said it, “You will live.”

Where joy and sorrow meet is the place of the fulfillment of every promise God has ever bestowed upon mankind. Pain, and its necessity, is what grabs our attention. What calls us to cease. What conditions us to wait. On who or what? Eventually, on HIM and on His goodness, so separate from our own.

“I can’t see, what’s in front of me, still I will trust you. Steady grace that keeps forgiving, steady faith that keeps believing, lead me on.” 

“Steady Heart”, Steffany Gretzinger

In this ringing and relentless weight of pain left in the wake of Jen's passing; in losing any of those that we cherish,  I am plagued by that sensation. In my conscience, these words, “Things cease to work right, without pain. Without correct observance of that pain. Without pursuing the root of that pain.” And what follows that has baffled me and left me confused, but grateful; ashamed, but so hopeful, “But God.Is.Good.”

It feels so counterintuitive to speak, to allow, to further the thought. Seconds beyond the shock-loss of a friend, “God, I know this feeling. I have felt this, and I know that you will do something good with this current pain.  Don’t take it away, but Lord, it hurts. Give us YOU. Show us your kingdom work at hand.”

And He will. And He does. And He will continue to. We need only praise Him in the wait.

Reconciling with Myself and Embracing a New Life

2 Corinthians 5:17-19

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

Anyone who has read one of my Cornerstone blog posts knows that I am highly efficient at beating myself up. It’s so easy to dwell on and be consumed by a sinful past. But that’s not how God views us. When we seek His forgiveness, accept the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for us, and embrace the new life that we have in Him, we are a new creation. He tells us that “the old has gone, the new has come!” 

When I read 2 Corinthians 5: 17-19, I am reminded that I am a completely new woman, not just a reformed or rehabilitated one. I am re-created as a child of God. These verses tell us that, in accepting His sacrifice and in believing in Him, we have not merely turned over a new leaf. We have begun a new life under the dominion of our Heavenly Father and with the support of His enduring and transformative love. 

Unfortunately, this newness is something I often forget. As I read these verses, I am reminded that God has given us the ministry of reconciliation, and He has committed to us the “message of reconciliation.” For some of us, that message of reconciliation not only involves our relationships with Him and others, but it also applies to our relationship with ourselves. After all, if God is not counting our sin against us, why should we?

The tendency to beat ourselves up is one that will wear us down and become a barrier to our peace and our service to Him, as we think that no one like us is worthy to be His servant. But in 2 Corinthians 5:20, we find that, when He changes us, He also uses us. As we reconcile with Him and with ourselves, we gain the new privilege of encouraging others to do the same. This new reconciled me is now God’s ambassador, an authorized representative, and a messenger from Him to others. With love and compassion, I can encourage others to join me in being blessed by a relationship with Him. My reconciled me becomes a catalyst for others to commit to walking in faith. As God’s ambassador, I also have the responsibility to continue to strengthen my walk with Him by growing in my knowledge of His Word and in my faith in Him and His promises. 

What a privilege you have been given, Lori! Stop beating yourself up! Let your past go and move forward in your new life, in which you are committed to growing in your knowledge and faith, and to being an ambassador for your Heavenly Father!  

Dear Heavenly Father, I praise You and worship You and am so grateful that You have re-created me as Your child. I am new in You, and just as You love and have forgiven me, I need to do the same for myself. Dwelling in the past and focusing on a woman who doesn’t exist anymore just disheartens me, turns my focus away from where it should be … on You, and prevents me from making a difference for others. I am grateful, dear Lord, for Your grace and mercy, and I will embrace the new life You have given me through the sacrifice of Your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

So That What Cannot Be Shaken May Remain

“We ignore even pleasure, but pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
C.S. Lewis, “The Problem of Pain”

I am a terrible gardener. If one should walk upon my property, they might find the remnants of intentional landscaping, carefully maintained and designed by a loving homeowner prior. Her name was Mildred, and while the interior of her home left much to be desired as far as updates and renovations are concerned, she carefully curated sweet, simple landscaping. Easy to maintain for her, I imagine but fulfilling in bursts of color and sweetness. A rose bush, tulips, a few daffodils, hydrangeas, primrose, many others which unfortunately my untrained eye is incapable of recognizing beyond, “green” and “pretty”. I imagine her, wide-brimmed hat to head, probably tiny in stature, but posture slightly curved, gloves to hands, clad with a spade, knees to the ground, with slow and deliberate movements, lovingly treating her weed-free, and life-giving garden.

Three years into receiving Mildred’s lovingly kept garden, the flowers remain for the most part. Perhaps not quite as lush and vibrant. The rose bush, one hydrangea, azaleas, (albeit overgrown

and in dire need of a good trim) and the tulips have come and gone for this year. More than that, unfortunately blindingly so, weeds. Weeds everywhere. Particularly the prickly ones. I’ve procrastinated pulling them for the entire Spring season because they hurt, and they are in abundance. Overwhelming. Heavy in that some of the stalks are, embarrassingly so, nearly the circumference of my wrist. My garden is overrun by abundant, painful, prickly weeds which, quite frankly, I cannot stand to allow in existence another moment. Which is precisely why, after I do everything else that I need to/want to/can come up with to do today, I will start to conquer them all.

This morning as I pulled up into my driveway; silent car ride, rather the change from the bantered, cheerful resonance of children’s voices just moments before, I placed the car in park in deep thought. Death, dementia, enemy lies, heavy words and emotions looming and spindling dangerous little webs around the fibers of my mind, my attention was immediately called upon by the ankle, waist, and shoulder-high weeds, prickly and overwhelming; domineering, even that is my new garden. “Another day another failure, and honestly, I’m just too tired to deal with one more thing, I think.” (It’s only going to get worse, and more burdensome as time goes on.)

I step out of the truck, toes of my sneakers hanging a second from floor to macadam, when among the cancer that is those thistles, I see a flash of red, then purple, then pink and still yet white buds on the hydrangea.

“Faith makes a fool of what makes sense
But grace found my heart where logic ends
When justice called for all my debts
The Friend of sinners came instead
Your ways are higher
Your thoughts are wilder
Love came like madness
Poured out in blood-washed romance
It makes no sense but this is grace
And I know You're with me in this place”

- Hillsong UNITED, “Here Now”

Droplets of dew and rain glistening in the morning light, still obscured so slightly by rainclouds of the night before, a rose. A velvety red rose, bright and proud among the overwhelming invasion of weeds. I look down to find tiny purple flowers, then budding primrose, bright as the sun, once bloomed. I couldn’t believe that any of it could still manage to survive my neglect. Immediately I reach out to remove the weeds surrounding that rose, but those slivers of pain reminded me- Overrun.

What is it about the threat of pain, that ceases our growth? Its mere existence is an alarm, a warning, “something is up here. Watch that.” Even once we are willing to reach into it- the persistence of the pain, the threat of more still, it’s all consuming and overwhelming until the existence of the prickly weed overwhelms all that is good, and true, and beautiful. (Not all that we feel or fear or see is actually true.)

God created pain, knowing both that it WOULD happen, and that it would happen with regularity. After the fall, the protection never ceased but it was also conditionally removed. Women will have painful childbirth, you will make choices and the consequences will have painful results, “I have overcome it all, child, but you’re still going to have to walk.” The results on the other side are always far greater than any pain I might endure over the process of growth, but why then does it still hurt?

So we can acknowledge that it has a purpose. We can acknowledge that the pursuit of the other side, is worth the perseverance necessary to endure it. But still. But STILL. Why? And if we can acknowledge it, why can’t we be FREE of the effects of it?

Defiantly, I reach into the green, pulling at the root, birthing fresh, damp soil as I remove each stalk and cast it behind me.

“So that what cannot be shaken may remain.” Hebrews 12:27

God allows us pain to alert us to a wrong, perhaps not what is wrong, but to let us know that there is something there which must be shaken, which must be plucked at the root, and away, out of us, BEHIND us.

Pain, in essence, is the courtesy of a loving God, removing the weeds of our life, prickly, soft and supple, but a hindrance and nuisance regardless, to come what may make room for the birth and growth of that which will remain.

I’m sitting here, thinking of a way to wrap this up. I do not yet have an answer for the rest of it. I’m still wrestling. I don’t know why it still hurts. I want to say that it is part of the grand mystery that is Creation and a relationship with a loving Father, but from where I sit, to put it bluntly, that’s just an irritating thing to say to someone who is suffering. What I do know is that where there is pain there is purpose; where there is purpose there is growth; and where there is growth, there is grace sufficient for the whole lot of it. Where do acceptance and peace come in from there? We can answer the grand mystery of pain, but answers provide not emotional peace and understanding and ultimately, willingly relenting to Him.

In the end, I suppose that that is a question not to be answered this side of Heaven.

Essential Elements of a Tranformative Baptism

As our Cornerstone family looks forward to the Believers’ Baptism, it brings to mind my own Baptism in 2014.

While I had been hearing the Lord calling me to be baptized for many years, I am ashamed to admit that I had prioritized so many things of this earth above the Lord’s will. When my husband chose to leave me in 2014, I no longer worried that I would make my non-Christian husband uncomfortable by being baptized, and I finally decided to be obedient to my Heavenly Father’s call. It wasn’t an easy decision, as I was working two jobs at the time to make the money I needed to pay my son’s college tuition. I chose the date that followed the magazine deadline for my freelance editing job, figuring that by then I would have the time to meaningfully participate in the experience.

After committing to the date, I learned that my divorce hearing had been scheduled for the morning following my baptism. I was heartbroken and concerned that it would be perceived by my church family and my Heavenly Father that I was just getting baptized to medicate from this painful situation. When I approached the pastors who were facilitating our baptism preparation class about my concerns, they strongly encouraged me to proceed. In his email, Pastor Tim VanSumeren wrote, “About your hesitation of doing it now versus waiting until next year, both Pastor Matthew and I feel that now is really the best time. This is life, and we all go through things. We are trying to teach our people to live ‘life on life’ and what better way to foster that than to have you share the news about what you’re facing. People will be glad to pray for you and support you during these difficult times.”

Pastor Tim’s wisdom was dead-on. So were Pastor Matthew Millen’s reflections that he offered during his April 8, 2018, sermon when he noted that after our baptism we will “walk in the newness of life in Christ” and that we would be “free and no longer defined by our old life.”

In Acts, Peter also spoke not only about the newness that a baptized individual would feel but also about the source of that transformative feeling. In addition, he pointed to the necessary step that one must take prior to one’s baptism when he used the word “repent” in the following verses.

Acts 2: 38 – 42

Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And, you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirt. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.” With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.” Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

The verses also highlight that in response to our baptism, that baptized Christians will “devote” themselves to the teaching of the Lord.

During my experience, I found three essential elements of a truly transformative baptism.

Element One: Reflection on God’s Impact on Your Life
As I participated in the educational session prior to the baptism, I learned that I would have to offer my testimony prior to being baptized. Testimony? Oh no! More work on my plate during a chaotic time of my life. Having witnessed baptisms at other churches that didn’t feature remarks from the participants, I was somewhat surprised by the requirement. But in reality, this testimony is the first essential element of a transformative baptism. As you consider your faith—how you first came to your belief in Jesus Christ and how your life has been changed since trusting in Him—you gain a true appreciation of the impact Jesus has had on your life.

Element Two: An Expectation of and Commitment to a Changed Life
If founded in God’s Word, your reflections will also cause you to deeply consider those aspects of your life that are not obedient to His commands. A commitment to repent of your sinful behavior—not only that behavior that you recognize in that moment but also the sinful behavior that God reveals to you in various ways throughout your life—is key to realizing the true blessings of baptism. With your commitment to opening your heart and your mind to God’s will for your life, you will allow God to make the special occasion of your baptism to be a moment of transformation in your life. You will hear the Holy Spirit speaking to you and be willing to follow His guidance.

I always found it quite poetic that my certificate of baptism reflected my name as “Lori Hixon” when my name had not yet been changed by the New Jersey divorce court. I credit the Lord with changing my name that day, just as He did for Abraham and Sarah when He established an everlasting covenant with them, and believe in my heart that He did the same for me that day.

Element Three: Preparation for the Attacks of the Devil
One of the aspects of that day that gave me a little pause was when Pastor Tim Ackley cautioned us to be prepared for the attacks of the devil. “Really?” I thought to myself, “How many more attacks do I really have to experience beyond what I am already going through?”

Like the wisdom from the other Cornerstone pastors, Pastor Ackley’s wisdom was also dead-on. I realized it when I walked into the New Jersey courtroom the next morning. I was prepared though as I was wearing the armor of God. I wore the belt of truth, knowing that this was God’s will for my life and that He would heal my heart and offer me a love that would never fail. I responded to His love by allowing Him to cover my heart with the breastplate of His righteousness, which resulted also in me trotting into and out of that courtroom with my feet wearing His peace, my head the helmet of salvation, and the shield of faith.

Since I knew that this pain was not caused by my husband but by the devil, I responded to my husband’s text after the hearing with kindness. And, I prayed for my heart to forgive completely and for my husband to feel the happiness that our relationship had robbed him of.

With my baptism, God changed my heart forever. No longer am I unaware of my tendency toward pride and sin. I pray always and have faith that the good work that He began in me He will carry on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus! [Note: My eyes are welling up with tears of gratitude as I type this.]

If you are considering being baptized, I pray that you will experience the same blessings that I continue to experience!